Pregnancy is NOT beautiful!!!

Whoever said that was a fool.
Or was trying to earn some serious brownie points from his wife. Yes I say "he" because a woman would know better.

Acne, y'all. My face, my back and my chest. I have never had skin issues before. This is driving me crazy. It has to be from that "pregnancy glow" (cough*bullshit*cough) a.k.a SWEAT.

Because I sweat. All the time. Like a big fat man. I don't even turn the heater on. People are constantly asking me if I'm cold.

No.
I'm perfect. Go away.

Back to the chest. ... My girls... They weren't small to begin with. Now they are HUGE.
But can I show them off? Nooooo.
Acne. Ugh. So gross.
Sucks having Dolly Parton ta-tas and having to lock them bad boys down.

Muscle cramps! In my legs. My sides. Lower abdomen. I know that everything is stretching, but good golly. I'm over that. Waking up to muscle cramps sucks.

My son moves like a crazy person. Like he's trying to prove something in there! Kick, punch, kick, kick, swirl, twirl, punch punch, kick. He's in my ribs so I can't breathe. He's playing hop scotch on my bladder.

Speaking on bladder. I pee constantly.
Even when I'm done peeing, I need to pee.
This starts the beginning of my embarrassing story.

I'm at work. I use the bathroom. I go park myself in front of the computer. I feel the urge to sneeze. So I grab for my tissues.

Because there's no such thing as a dry sneeze for me... When I'm pregnant. Pregnancy has got my allergies out of whack.

Grab my tissues and sneeze. And pee. Yeah, you read that right. I peed my pants. At work. Right after I used the restroom.
I peed my pants from sneezing!!!!!!!!!!!
Motherfucker was the first word out of my mouth.

Shaving. That's becoming difficult. There's a giant mountain of baby in my way.
I don't shave unless I have too. I'm totally good with shaving to my knees and calling it a day.

No shave November. Participated.
Declining to shave December. Working on it.

Seven months pregnant.
82 days left.

Whoa.