Things that make you go OUCH

This post is for the girls, unless you are a guy that waxes.

So, we all know that alcohol is most always included in STUPID ideas. Even the smartest person does stupid stuff when intoxicated. It happens.

Thursday, I make a phone call to one of my close friends, we talk about girly stuff. I ask if she has ever had a Brazilian wax....................................................................................................
[This is only important so that you understand why I did what I did, the rest of the the conversation doesn't matter, except for the VAGAZZLE part. If you don't know what that is, google it. It's the new "IN" thing. And for the life of me I can't figure out why it's so popular. I doubt my husband would come home and tell me "Wow, that's hot, lets make babies!" ... Okay back to my story.]

It's Saturday, after a couple glasses of wine, okay a whole bottle or so, I bring out the wax kit.
(Remember the conversation up there^^^ It got me thinking.)

I do my legs, my eyebrows. I can do this. EASY. I'm a tough girl. I have crazy piercings, tattoos and I have broken and/ or fractured a number of bones, not to mention having a tooth knocked out. YEAH. Easy as pie,

I turn the wax machine on, it takes 45-60 min to fully heat up. While I am waiting I start reading HORROR stories of at home brazilian waxing from other women.

*STARTS DRINKING MORE*

Talk to some people, got encouragement. Yes, Ashley rip your lady bits off, sounds great!

So I begin. It's not that bad!!! I can so handle this. Those women are sissies!! What are they crying about?

Then I get to the lower  region. Spread the wax. Ouch, it's hot. Place the wax strip over the wax hold for a few seconds and PULL.
[Enter a series of expletives here.]

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. Okay, that was okay. You can do this, stop making that face and holding yourself and get going. So once again, apply wax, strips, and PULL.

Except this time there's NO PAIN. Wait, that can't be right.
THE DAMN WAX IS STILL ON ME. IT DIDN'T COME OFF!

[A this point the husband enters. Smirking. Thoughts of domestic violence run through my head. I decide against beating him, and continue with my situation]

This is no biggy, they make this stuff called WAX OFF. What it's supposed to do is take the wax off.
Except it doesnt!!! I had to take my TWEEZERS and slowly rip pieces of waxand hair off.
THAT SUCKED!

At this point I don't know if I am sweating because of the alcohol or if it's because i'm in so much pain!

Okay, so I finish tweezing, but there are still little smudges of wax ( that won't come off with the "WAX OFF" and things are stuck together that should NOT be stuck together.

The point of this post is to give you step-by-step instructions ona Brazilian wax, so that you may not have to endure the pain I did.

1. MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR SALON
2. GET IN YOUR CAR, AND DRIVE THERE
3. FORGET ABOUT THE $80, IT'S GONE AND JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE.
4. REPEAT WHEN NEEDED

BLOGGINGMOLLY

HELLO. HELLO.

So I decided that I want to blog, I need something to do with myself, right?

Something other than that horrible Facebook that I am addicted to.

[Anyone else? Don't be lie, you are.]

I can't say everything I would like to say on Facebook, I mean I could, but that would be ALOT of blocking people. So why not here? There are alot of gears turning inside my head, all the damn time. I just want a place I can put my feelings out there. Could be nice, hilarious, bitchy, down right mean, may even be ALOT of ranting. That is what my blog spot is going to be made of. All of my own personal junk.

So this is your WARNING.

If you happen to be one of those people who get offended easily, please go away. If not, then I look forward to entertaining you with my thoughts, stories and personal experiences.

I would ALSO love to hear from the peanut gallery, if there's somthing you want me to talk about, tell me!

I will be posting later tonight about my alcohol induced escapade last weekend. So be sure to pop back by here.

BANG,BANG!
LET THE GAMES BEGIN.