Pregnancy is NOT beautiful!!!

Whoever said that was a fool.
Or was trying to earn some serious brownie points from his wife. Yes I say "he" because a woman would know better.

Acne, y'all. My face, my back and my chest. I have never had skin issues before. This is driving me crazy. It has to be from that "pregnancy glow" (cough*bullshit*cough) a.k.a SWEAT.

Because I sweat. All the time. Like a big fat man. I don't even turn the heater on. People are constantly asking me if I'm cold.

No.
I'm perfect. Go away.

Back to the chest. ... My girls... They weren't small to begin with. Now they are HUGE.
But can I show them off? Nooooo.
Acne. Ugh. So gross.
Sucks having Dolly Parton ta-tas and having to lock them bad boys down.

Muscle cramps! In my legs. My sides. Lower abdomen. I know that everything is stretching, but good golly. I'm over that. Waking up to muscle cramps sucks.

My son moves like a crazy person. Like he's trying to prove something in there! Kick, punch, kick, kick, swirl, twirl, punch punch, kick. He's in my ribs so I can't breathe. He's playing hop scotch on my bladder.

Speaking on bladder. I pee constantly.
Even when I'm done peeing, I need to pee.
This starts the beginning of my embarrassing story.

I'm at work. I use the bathroom. I go park myself in front of the computer. I feel the urge to sneeze. So I grab for my tissues.

Because there's no such thing as a dry sneeze for me... When I'm pregnant. Pregnancy has got my allergies out of whack.

Grab my tissues and sneeze. And pee. Yeah, you read that right. I peed my pants. At work. Right after I used the restroom.
I peed my pants from sneezing!!!!!!!!!!!
Motherfucker was the first word out of my mouth.

Shaving. That's becoming difficult. There's a giant mountain of baby in my way.
I don't shave unless I have too. I'm totally good with shaving to my knees and calling it a day.

No shave November. Participated.
Declining to shave December. Working on it.

Seven months pregnant.
82 days left.

Whoa.

A year condensed-ish

It's mid-November already. Wow. Time really does fly when you get older.

I haven't written or blogged in such a long time.

Today I spent some time out and about by myself and did a lot of thinking. My life has changed a great deal in a year and a halfish. Today was difficult for me. I have been very ... depressed...maybe? I'll use that term LIGHTLY.

I sat in the parking lot and remembered the reason I drank so much last year. Because sometimes life sucks. Then I asked myself what the fuck was wrong with me. I am pregnant, and NO I wouldn't drink.(OH by the way...IM PREGNANT. I'll get to that later.) I'm not THAT down. I just had familiar feeling. Being alone all the time is probably what is doing it to me. January 2013 was a turning point for me. I cut ties with my past and moved on. As terrifying as that was, I did it and it has worked out in my favor I must say.

Ya'll a tornado has come down, once again, and flipped my world upside down.

I started seeing someone who lives about 6 hours away. It seemed like a fantastic idea! Distance- I have someone there, but I can keep them at arms length. Know what I mean? I'll let you in on my terms, not serious, occasional dating.
Riiiiiiiiiight----- then these things called feelings came in and screwed that all up. I fell for this guy. Hard. I'm not even kidding when I tell you on multiple occasions I asked myself what the hell I was doing. It wasn't just a fall. It was a stupid, fall on your face, completely jumble your brain up, can't think about anything else fall. So I decided to just go with it. HA. Little did I know things would get much more complicated than just falling in love with someone from friggin' Kansas. No, lets try throwing a pregnancy card in there. Super.

July 1, 2013 - After being sick for a few days and my monthly visitor not coming on time (even though I basically told my uterus she had better get her shit together and make something happen), Krystin told me I was pregnant.
No. No way. No how. NO. But she insisted. So I took a test. At work. Of all places. And stared at those two pink lines for a long time with tears in my eyes. I was pregnant.
Most of you know the trouble I went through trying to get pregnant. For years. Half of me was stupid happy and the other half just kept saying "Oh shit."

The next few minutes I spent trying to figure out what to do. Do I tell him? Do I keep it to myself? I made that dreaded phone call and told him. It took him a little while to come around.

The beginning of the pregnancy was terrible. I was sick all the time and did not think I was going to stay pregnant. A few trips to the ER and Doctors with complications convinced me I was going to lose this baby. I was completely devastated. I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted to yell it to the world, but I did not want to get excited about something that I had wanted for so long just turn around and have it slip through my finger tips. But he made it. That's right, it is a he! I am having a little boy! Yay! Now I am six months pregnant. It took me all of these six months to really believe I'm pregnant and now he's almost here.

Six months pregnant.

You know, I had these plans. Being married, being set somewhere and starting my family. Not being divorced, working part time, living with my mom, definitley not dating someone six hours away. I guess that is the way things go.

It is all very hard on me emotionally. I spend a lot of time alone. I am alone. Pregnant and alone. That is not a good feeling. I think that is the part I am struggling with the most at the moment. This is supposed to be something you do with your SO.  The next would be my plans after my son is born. I have no idea what I am going to do. None. I was and am unprepared. I am taking this one day at a time and plastering this grin on my face on days I don't even want to leave my house.

I never have been the person to let things bother me. I have always, always, always been the tough one. But I am scared. SCARED. 

All of that being said, I am so very thankful, so very happy and so excited that I am finally getting the one thing I wanted most out of life. To be a mom.

I will figure this out, though. I will make it work one way or the other. I am stuck, I really can't move forward until I have this baby. I am just waiting and driving myself crazy for March 2nd- ish so I can decide just  what it is we are going to do. Unfortunatley until then I am stuck with all these emotions that I can't do a darn thing about. HAHA.

Made up of random

TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN.
Already.

My life has been soooo boring, because I am old now.
Since this year has started, I moved back home, bought a truck and Road tripped to Houston for the day. That's it.
I can't seem to get out of the truck. I'm pretty much in love with it. It's beautiful. Like, Ya'll... I'll be one of those people who marry inanimate objects. .... You know what I am talkin' bout. Those freaks on Maury.
"Do You take this Dodge Ram to be your lawfully wedded bad ass big sexy truck?"
Yes. Yes I do.*tear*

It probably is the most perfect marriage. It can't talk.

I have taken a liking to Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum...+coke+lime.. new favorite thing. Next to tequila.

Speaking of tequila. I bought some, and you know when you buy something and it's name is Trouble Maker, you're screwed. That's all it did all night, cause trouble for me. My knees are bruised and bloodied. My shins are bruised. Cause apparently my legs were like "Oh, you wanna walk? Okay lets g---SIKE!"
But I guess it was the TroubleMaker and the Phase10 drinking game combined.

Speaking of Phase10 Drinking game... that will be the only way to play that game from now on.

I  have worked up a new tattoo. I got it translated, by a real translator, into Hebrew.
So I will not be on that Badhewbrew.com. 

"Write your troubles in the sand, so the winds of time can wash them away / Carve your blessings in stone so that they are etched in your heart forever"

I love it. I will love it even more when it's on my ribs.

Also, I have become the go to girl for Grand Theft Puppy.

Mistreated, abused, pitbulls. I will James Bond that shit and rescue that dog.

Give it a new happy home.

I Pinterest wrong. Most of the time I forget to pin.I just spend hours laughing, then can't find it again. 

Okay I have to go be a productive member of society now.

HI LINDY!

Unsolicited Advice

I love when people know more about your problems than you do, and throw "You should, I would's" at you.
It's hard to contain a polite smile anymore.
It's like my body is rejecting the fake smile.

Anyway.
Reults from my HSG test showed a mass. Turns out the mass is scar tissue.
If I ever plan to conceive, I have to have it removed.
Laparoscopy.
That is the current direction I am heading. Just waiting for the doctor to call me back to set up a Pre Op appointment so that I can have all my questions answered.
And to see how much it is going to cost me.
I've said before, this whole process is going to make me go broke.

I'm quickly coming up on my 2 year mark, it is starting to take a toll on me. Although I have only started this journey with my doctor 3 months ago, and I am sure it is far from over.
Knowing that all this time, nothing was going to happen. And even being on the medicine wasn't going to help. Just throwing away money.

I now have the mindset of What's Next?
What else is wrong with me?
It should be a positive step forward.
But it isn't.

I will write again when I get the Post Op appointment and we set a date for the surgery!

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

I am really starting to getinto this DIY stuff. I have a whole list of ideas! Sunday I painted the lids of baby food jars with chalkboard paint and did cardstock siding. They turned out cute. I am crazy about that paint, it is very cool!

I went to Hobby Lobby and bought the chalk markers, they are really cool, and makes writing neat a breeze. At $11.99 they are so worth it!!

I went in for my 2nd Progesterone level check today.
My images from HSG never got sent to my doctor, even after two weeks. So hopefully I will have some direction tomorrow afternoon.

I am a woman of little words tonight.
I have had me fill of shitty friends.
I miss my best friend, Kirsten. More and more everyday.
The traffic in NTX is crazy stupid.
That is all.

Have a fabulous night bugs. :)

Those Creatures with big SMILES.

The Pitbull.

The most hated dog.

I've talked to many people who, right of the bat, say they don't like pitbulls, They are SO mean. Alot of the times I keep my mouth shut until they have done their preaching, then I tell them I have not ONE but TWO. Then I am on them like white on rice. Usually these are the same people who have never owned a bull. Some have only been around some, which happen to be the mean ones.

My question is always "How do you think they got that way?"

Us, Humans. A FUCKING person taught that dog to be that way. A FUCKING person mistreated that animal. That is ALL that animal knows.

Why is it the animals fault? Why does our society hate this animal so much that they will take this particular breed and kill it. Regardless if it's ever been in trouble? Why are they banning this breed.

Ignorance. 
Uneducated.
Negative exposure in the media.

Let me tell you how many funny looks I have recieved by just saying I am a pitbull owner, and yes I am a pitbull owner trying to start a family.

That means I will have a child, and still have pitbulls.
"Are you crazy?" Yes but for different reasons than what you think.  Not because of my breed choice.

You're just an uneducated shithead. Who is doing nothing but making yourself look stupid. So congratulations.

I will always own PITBULLS. I have often thought about other breeds, but my heart is in it for the bulls.

I challenge people to volunteer at shelters to get to know pitbulls. Get to know the dog. Get to know it's personality. Not just the sterotype. You'll realize that they aren't monsters. Just dogs. Just like your Lab, retriever, chihuahua, or whatever it is you have.

"But they have lock jaw." No the fuck they don't, shut up right now, I am so done talking to you.

That is a myth.

They happen to be a strong dog. Very strong, But they don't have lock jaw. on top of being strong they are also intelligent, loyal, and fun.

YOU make the dog. That dog is what it is because of you!

I have met some very aggresive pitbulls. It's not their fault. It's ours. HUMANS.

If anyone ever asked me to lock my dogs up before they came into my house, I would tell them to leave. You wouldn't be welcome in my house.

If anyone ever told me they wouldn't come to my house because of the breed of my dog... I would say good, because I don't want you there anyway.

There have been a few people I have met who thought the worst of pitbulls, they came to my house, interacted with my dogs. Left thinking differently.
They've even let their children come around my dogs.

SO, if you are one of these people, please don't waste your time talking to me about my dangerous breed. Chances are I will become dangerous.


Her name is love.

This dog has suffered so much. Still sweet, loving and playful.

She bounced back. She is a better "person" than most people.

This Love, again.

See her ears???? Her previous owners took KITCHEN sheers and cut her ears off. But she still knows "love". She's not violent, even though she has everyright to want to chew a humans face off. She doesn't.



Georgie

Georgie is my dog. He is a view changer. I love him.

I know his limits, I don't put him in bad situations.

He's golden. I trust him.

Zeppelin

Zeppelin's best friend is a cat. She's hyper and crazy. She has lots and lots of energy. And boy she is powerful. She's my cuddlebug. Perfect dog for kids of a certain age. You know, those kids who won't get knocked down by a wagging tail.

Obviously my dogs are man eaters.

Holy Mother of Mint Chocolate Chip!!

MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM. eh.

If I want ice cream I go two ways: Butter Pecan or Rainbow Sherbert.

So back In the day when I lived in Houston, there was this diner called WINGERS, a 50's inspired diner. So stinking yummy. Good food! Known for its beer and hot sauce. AND instead of serving chips or peanuts they served you bowls of buttery popcorny goodness.

Wingers is no longer in TX :(

Only in Utah, Idaho Oregon, Nevada, WAshington and Wyoming.

Not cool WINGERS, Not cool.

It's also called a Winger's Roadhouse Grill now-a-days.

One of their famous desserts is something called Asphalt Pie.

[stop drooling.]

 I have often said I going to remake this. Because it is so darn good &  havn't had it in ohhhh 15 years. Last night I got the urge to throw it together.

So to make the pie you would need:

1 Oreo crust (home-made or store bought)

6 cups of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice cream

Chocloate syrup

Caramel syrup

and whipped cream ( you can be fancy and make your own or buy it. BUT if you buy it, buy OAK FARMS. Or you should, because I tell you too. It,s just better than that Reddi-Whip stuff.)

You let the ice cream soften and then scoop it into the pie crust and spread it. Then you let it freeze for 8 hours or so.

Such a complex dessert, I know!

Then you can just cut your pie, load it with whipped cream and drizzle chocolate AND caramel over it.

Go the extra mile and make the pretty patterns, makes ya feel fancy!

ENJOY

Now I know MCC ice cream and Caramel??? Yuck.

Just doesnt sound good.

Had I never went to Wingers, I would have never thought to put it together.

ANYWHO. So...... if you have the munchies, and are  impatient like me...

[rolls eyes]

here's what you do...

Go buy and half gallon of Blue Bell MCC ice cream

a package of oreos

whipped cream (OAK FARMS, YALL!)

Chocolate sundae syrup

Caramel sundae syrup.

So you take your oreos and twist them apart put the sides with out the filling in a ziploc bag, and then pair your sides with the filling together (TA-DA! very own double stuffed oreos!)

Make how ever much you want. I was making this dessert for more than one person so i automatically did half the package of oreos.

Then take something heavy and crush the cookies up.

Put the oreos in the bottom of your bowl or plate or cup or measuring bowl, whatever you use when you eat ice cream. I don't judge.

Then scoop out your ice cream, 2 scoops ( or more!)

Load that bad boy up with whipped cream and drizzle the caramel and chocolate syrup over the cream.

This is what I came up with

It tastes JUST like the pie.

And its quick.

And Yumm-o

And it's sure to send you into sugar shock.

So go to the store and get everything to make this, then call me after and tell me how amazing I am for telling you about this little gem.

Laters.